When penis-shaped mushrooms were found on the island in the background – now known as Fungus Rock – they were promptly believed to have aphrodisiac powers. In order to control access to the island and its priapic gifts, those wacky Knights of Malta built the fort in the foreground. Looking back over their history, this is not the maddest thing they ever did, but this folly deserves to be remembered as the one time they got close to seeming delightful.
For. Every. Single. Fucking. Imaginable. Contingency.
Night has fallen. Help has still not arrived.