Tusk (Kevin Smith 2014)

and so anyway it turns out that the best thing about Tusk (2014), a film in which an erstwhile mariner turned mad surgeon/serial killer abducts asshole shock-podcaster Justin Long in order to transform him into a walrus fit for gladiatorial combat, is not the spot-on depiction of Canadians in all their native variety, but that moment (and every subsequent moment) that comes several tens of minutes into the film when you go from staring at the screen wondering what you are staring at to staring at the screen wondering whether you are staring at the most expensive movie Frank Henenlotter never made or at a god’s-honest-truth work of genius such as has never actually been made by Wes Anderson…