Why I suck at writing conclusions; and a modest proposal

This week has mostly been spent trying to finalise the revisions to my forthcoming book (pictured left, though that is neither the real cover nor the actual subtitle).

By which I mean all the revisions were done weeks ago, apart from overhauling the conclusion, which – as it stands – is a nice little riff on the Fast and Furious movies that ends a bit abruptly but has a killer last line that I want to be the last line of the entire book.

The problem is the nice little riff does not work as a conclusion for the entire book.

Or so I am told.

Because the purpose of – and desire for – conclusions continues to elude me.

I mean, what is wrong with you people? You’ve read the whole book and now you want me to chuck in the Cliffs Notes version at the end cos you weren’t paying attention? I’ve spend x-thousand words giving you ideas to think about and now you want me to tell you what to think about them?

You bums. You lazy good-for-nothing bums.

So can we all agree that in future instead of conclusions books will come with a pencil and some blank pages at the end for you to make notes and draw your own conclusions?

And if possible, can we all agree this before my deadline on Monday morning?

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