The Legend of Tarzan (David Yates 2016)

tumblr_oaiqrwWVru1rkkyz2o1_1280and so anyway it turns out that the best thing about The Legend of Tarzan (2016) – apart, obviously, from the scantily-clad Alexander Skarsgård – is not that it represents big-budget Hollywood finally drawing attention to, and giving a nuanced, accurate and genuinely harrowing account of, King Leopold’s genocidal regime in the Congo Free State, which killed roughly ten percent of the population of all of Africa, because it doesn’t do that, nor is it Christopher Waltz’s feature-length audition tape for the role of Hercule Poirot’s evil twin brother in some awful modernising ‘reboot’ that no-one wants of a well-loved character that will undoubtedly be directed by Guy fucking Ritchie, no, the best thing about The Legend of Tarzan is that, terrible as it is, even with its genuinely well-intended but miserably inadequate revisionism, it still somehow manages not to be the worst Margot Robie film directed by someone called David I have seen this week…

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