The Avengers: Age of Ultron (Whedon 2015) haikus

 

23avengers

 

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I kick much ass yet:

my own ass defines me. That,

and my barren womb.

 

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It’s Thor’s Hammer gags.

Der-du du du, du du du,

Du du. Can’t touch them.

 

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“Fuck this shit,” says Cap,

“another of these fucking

films is all middle.”

 

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Ultron’s radical

green accelerationism.

Not such a bad plan.

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Waterworld (Kevin Reynolds 1995)

MV5BMTA2Nzk3MTgzMTVeQTJeQWpwZ15BbWU3MDgyNTgxNjk@._V1_SX640_SY720_and so anyway it turns out the best thing about Waterworld (1995) is not that it is intermittently far less terrible than I remember it being, though far too intermittently for me to consider rewatching The Postman (1997), the other Kevin Costner post-apocalyptic epic I also saw at the cinema and swore never to watch again, but that Joss Whedon, in his seven weeks of script-doctoring the movie, somehow managed to not ascribe Costner’s character’s gills, webbed toes, Man from Atlantis swimming style, assorted other almost-superpowers and ambiguous motivations to his inability to be a mother…