Jason Bourne (Paul Greengrass 2016)

56d01fb8b6_345x518_b1093cb7dfand so anyway it turns out that the best thing about Jason Bourne (2016) is not its relentlessly undistinguished blandness or its sheer breathtaking lack of any fucking reason to exist or to take up so much of my life, or that it gave me one last chance to pretend that Julia Stiles is really the daughter of Furious Styles, which is how she got the in to teach those ghetto kids ballet before becoming head of street dance at the CIA, no, the best thing about Jason Bourne is its completely unexpected, subtly crafted and cunningly layered self-reflexivity, which saw me drawn back into a franchise of which I have only the most fragmented and disconnected memories, starring Matt Damon, who has been drawn back into a franchise of which he has only the most fragmented and disconnected memories, playing a character who is drawn back into a life of which he has only the most fragmented and disconnected memories, and now you too are trying to remember what exactly happened in this franchise of which you have only most fragmented and disconnected memories…

Gone Girl (David Fincher 2014)

unnamedand so anyway it turns out that the best thing about Gone Girl (2014) is not the monomaniacal lengths to which Gillian Flynn went, first as novelist and then as screenwriter, just to play an elaborate unfunny homage to Kevin Smith by once more getting Ben Affleck to chase Amy, nor is it the film’s astonishing commitment to demonstrating that, regardless of the PC-gone-madness of SJWs everywhere, women, especially blonde ones, are at the very core of their DNA betrayers, no, the very best thing about the film – all about love, performativity, duplicity, mendacity, treachery, revenge and psychosis – is the way it captures the raw truth of the relationship between Ben Affleck and Matt Damon when they were cowriting Good Will Hunting (1997), except with Rosamund Pike playing Affleck…