Star Wars: The Force Awakens (JJ Abrams 2015)

_1443544274and so anyway it turns out that the best thing about Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2014) is not the way tumbleweed blows across the Tatooine desert when Simon Pegg makes his desperately unfunny ‘Rey gun’ joke, nor is it the revelation that the ‘home’ Han is so glad to be back at is the one in which his grandkids have dumped him, where he rooms with Bruce Campbell’s Elvis and Ossie Davis’s JFK, no, the best thing about the new Star Wars movie is the eighteen months of misdirection during which Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill straight-up straightface lied about the next Jump Street movie cross-over being with the Men in Black franchise…

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Ant-Man (Peyton Reed 2015)

f4e44383348e5b0e4d9255917926482eand so anyway it turns out that the best thing about Ant-Man ( 2015) is not that it lays bare the ways in which all the MCU movies, from phase meh through to phase yawn, are extremely ordinary if intermittently entertaining films, nor is it the inclusion of a Russian (?) in the trio of comedy ethnic sidekicks as if this somehow eliminates the problem of casting actors of colour in comedy sidekick roles, nor is it the casting of Yanis Varoufakis Mark Strong Corey Stoll as the Hood, thus revealing Disney’s plans for an MCU/Thunderbirds crossover, nor is it the fact that every so often you can hear in Paul Rudd’s lines the rhythms of Edgar Wright’s dialogue, thus enabling you to make your own entertainment by recasting Simon Pegg in the lead, no, the best thing about Ant-Man, which is a little weird but also helps to lay bare a bunch of the creepy-ass stuff that often goes on behind that whole parent-child rift/reconciliation screenplay 101 bullshit, is the decision to confuse Michael Douglas by cutting Evangeline Lilly’s hair so as to make Hank Pym’s daughter look as much like Douglas’s wife as possible…