The final scene of the young Han Solo solo movie

 

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INT: MILLENNIUM FALCON COCKPIT

HAN looks at counter on Millennium Falcon console. It reads 12.

HAN
Probably rounded it up. I’m gonna say less than twelve.

He slides out of his chair and struts out of the cockpit, a shit-eating grin on his face. The cocky motherfucker.

CHEWBACCA shakes his head. He leans forward and hits a button on the counter. The readout switches to one that reads to three decimal places. It now shows 12.499.

CHEWBACCA (in Shyriiwook, despairingly)
Rounding up includes rounding down.

He resets the counter, once more protecting  HAN’s fragile little ego.

CHEWBACCA (in Shyriiwook, pedantically)
And it’s not fucking parsecs.

He rises to leave the cockpit.

CHEWBACCA (in Shyriiwook, definitively)
Asshole.

END CREDITS ROLE.

*****

No Bothans were harmed in the making of this film.

 

 

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (JJ Abrams 2015)

_1443544274and so anyway it turns out that the best thing about Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2014) is not the way tumbleweed blows across the Tatooine desert when Simon Pegg makes his desperately unfunny ‘Rey gun’ joke, nor is it the revelation that the ‘home’ Han is so glad to be back at is the one in which his grandkids have dumped him, where he rooms with Bruce Campbell’s Elvis and Ossie Davis’s JFK, no, the best thing about the new Star Wars movie is the eighteen months of misdirection during which Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill straight-up straightface lied about the next Jump Street movie cross-over being with the Men in Black franchise…